Rios and Agnes Jurati make out. She says “I’ve never slept with a captain before” and he says “I highly recommend it,” as though she wasn’t telling him his habits reminded her of her dad like three episodes ago. (Was she secretly referring to Maddox at the time? I want to believe, but there’s no reason for that, either.)
Raffi has an elaborate conversation with an old Starfleet buddy wherein she convinces her to let them through to the Artifact, while completely plastered. Her relapse is one of the only moments in the episode—and frankly, one of the only subplots in the series thus far—that make any sense whatsoever.
Picard does a Google image search of “Borg,” “treaty,” and “Artifact” and stares at a TNG still of himself in his assimilated identity, Locutus of Borg. We look through the transparent screen at his face, so it looks like a mask (see above) and blows right past “tasteful metaphor” and jumps straight into “saying the quiet part loud.” Trauma, baby.
Hugh and Picard have a big hug moment. (That’s the other sensible part.)
im cry
Soji carbon-dates all of her possessions (including…printed…photos?) and learns that all of them are exactly 37 months old.
Narek has a Rubik’s cube full of poison gas.
Narek and Narissa have a Metaphorical conversation about the Rubik’s cube full of poison gas.
Narek cries (??) when he locks Soji in the Romulan meditation temple with a Rubik’s cube full of poison gas.
Elnor asks more absurdly credulous questions. Is he supposed to be a sort of Aspergers stand-in, or something? Do the Romulans have a spectrum equivalent? Nobody seems to give a damn about getting to know this kid regardless, so you can’t blame him for trying to remind people of his existence.
Elnor follows Picard onto the Artifact without permission and subsequently decides to “hold off” the Romulans with Hugh while Picard escapes with Soji via a weird alien transporter acquired by the Borg and hidden in the Queen’s quarters (which suddenly exist), despite the fact that there is absolutely no need whatsoever for him to stay behind, not is there any additional cost whatsoever for him to escape with them. (Hugh is now actually less likely to get out of it alive, being in the company of an unaccounted-for qalankhkai, who happened to show up out of nowhere just as everything started going to shit.) (Is everything going to shit, even? Shouldn’t it be more concerning that a Romulan spy just tried to assassinate an Artifact-authorized “human” doctor in his people’s sacred meditation chamber?)
Just a couple lingering questions
Why is any of this happening?
Am I supposed to know any of these new characters enough to feel anything for them, particularly if any of them are about to die?
Everyone is a murderer now?
When did Rios have time to develop into emotionally available boyfriend material?
Why wasn’t that hookup scene just Jurati running a holodeck program Rios? Or the hospitality hologram Rios? You could even have had the real Rios walk in on it, creating a totally mortifying moment of exposure, until he’s like, “Well, you’re hot, and I’d be down to fool around, but just so you know, it can’t mean anything because I’m brooding and a trainwreck”?
Are we ever going to learn anything about the captain Rios watched die (allegedly the source of his damage)?
Are we ever going to learn why there was shrapnel in Rios’ shoulder when we met him (other than unapologetic thirst-mongering)?
Were we supposed to know that Narek had a real feeling about Soji before attempting to assassinate her?
was this the moment??
What kind of person is Soji supposed to be? I can’t tell if she’s smart enough to deduce Narek is Tal Shiar and not care (evidence: incredibly gifted, overly educated anthropologist), or if she’s supposed to be a booksmart-not-streetsmart type with low self-esteem (evidence: how easily she falls for the first unwashed dude who starts hitting on her), or …?
Related: Did Soji and Dahj ever actually talk to each other? Did we ever establish that?
Why did we spend an entire episode fucking around on Canto Bight to rescue Maddox if we’re not even going to spend time debriefing about what he’s been doing the past 30 years before his child bride chokes the life out of him?
Related: how is an EMH not programmed with the ability to, if not prevent murder, then at least sound the alarm on one in progress?
Related related: does this ship not have surveillance in sick bay?
Does Elnor have a personality beyond “asks naïve questions and murders people on a dime”?
Follow-up: is anyone going to ask him?
Did Elnor really dispense with any and all resentment towards Picard for abandoning him as a child, even now when he’s being negged harder than Worf at every turn? (At least Worf’s rejection was professional; Elnor is getting straight-up ostracized.)
I mean this in 100% seriousness, absolutely zero rhetorical snark: why did Picard have to be diagnosed with a terminal illness? Is this going to come into play at any time, beyond giving the rescue a forced sense of urgency?
So…we’re leaving the overwhelmingly compelling subplot of the Romulan refugee crisis on the table in favor of superstitious Terminator zealotry, incestuous spies, and two-dimensional villainy?